Spring is Coming!

I think that I am finally climbing out of the deep dark hole of depression and starting to feel the effects of the sun (as well as The Son) again.  Struggling with depression in the winter months is something that I deal with every year, but I'm pretty sure that this year was the worst I have ever experienced.  Not only was I depressed, but I also fought bouts of anxiety.  Needless to say, it was AWFUL!  I have felt the stirrings of peace and happiness now for the last 4 days and it is WONDERFUL!  It probably is not gone entirely, but at least I feel like I can handle it pretty much again.

I have been extremely lax in writing the last couple of months, so here is a summary of my doings.

First, and very most important, I’m going to be a grandma again!  Tasha took a pregnancy test on Christmas morning that was positive – what a great Christmas present!  She let Kim and I see the test but then she proceeded to forbid us from telling anyone for two more months!  It was extremely difficult, but we kept her secret until she was ready to tell.  The baby is due the first part of September and I CAN’T WAIT!

The weather this winter has been CRAZY!  300% more snow than average, and most of it has been in our city.  The kids had 2 snow days where there was no school and several days that were late start days because the buses couldn’t pick up all the kids in time.  We literally had 20” on our front lawn.  The snow plows ran out of places to put the snow they plowed. And COLD, there were several days when the temperature was below zero when I left for work, one morning it -14°!  I have been reading stories about my pioneer ancestors and when we were experiencing these cold temperatures my appreciation for those pioneers grew exponentially.  They truly were saints!

After getting all of the snow we then got a heat wave that melted all of that snow and the county had massive amounts of flooding.  Fortunately, we weren’t affected but many homes were flooded.  California has been having flooding too, in fact a portion of the famous Hwy 1 that runs along the entire coast was washed into the ocean with a mudslide.  This past week things have evened out, so hopefully there will be no more danger.

Speaking of danger, on January 30 Austin Taylor was killed when he hit a patch of ice on the freeway.  Austin and his family used to live in our ward and he is married to one of the girls I had when I was in the Young Women organization.  It is extremely sad.  I feel so bad for his cute wife and daughters.  

His death has affected me greatly.  First of all, I experienced a very severe anxiety attack while driving home from work – so bad that I had to pull over, call a friend, and have her talk me through it so I could get home.  The anxiety didn’t resolve for about 12 hours, I was a wreck.  I even had to have someone fill in for me at clinicals the next day because I was afraid to drive.  I don’t know if it was because it was so close to the anniversary of BJ’s death or because I was already depressed, but I have really had to fight to not get swallowed up in the pain and grief of his passing.  He was a good kid and a great husband and father.  He will be sorely missed.

The Parrishes moved to Mantua.  Marilyn and McKay are going to stay there until July when Marilyn finishes her internship and Marshall finishes school and while Mont is training for his new job in Dallas.  We got together several times in January before he had to leave.  The first week of January we went out to dinner and then went to the movie “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”.  It was written by J.K. Rowling and is a spin-off of Harry Potter.  It was pretty good, I think we all liked it.   We decided to try dinner at J&D’s restaurant and now of us liked it.  It will be doubtful if we ever go back.  A couple of weeks later we went to the temple and did sealings together and then had dinner at Idle Isle.  It was a fantastic evening!  I haven’t done sealings for a long time and it was so nice to sit in the temple and talk with the sealer as he reminded us of the wonderful blessings in store for each of us. 

A bunch of couples in the neighborhood met at Troy and Carol Herzog's house for a final night of games before Mont left.  We played Telestrations and laughed and laughed!

Mont bore his testimony in church during January’s Fast and Testimony meeting.  His testimony was incredible (just like him).  At one point he reminded each of us that we are good enough to warrant Christ’s love.  There is nothing more or less that we could do to be loved any more.  I really needed to hear that.  Unfortunately if finally hit me during his testimony that he and his family were really leaving.  I think that before then I just buried it and hoped it wouldn’t happen, but that day I knew it to be true.  I started crying uncontrollably while sitting in the chapel.  It was quite embarrassing, but I didn’t care because I was so sad.  I’m not going to say any more about that right now.

The next Sunday they released Mont as bishop and sustained Johnny Hepworth as the new bishop.  Mont did a fabulous job as bishop, but I believe that Johnny will also be a great bishop.  He is a very caring man, and I sustain him with all of my heart.  His counselors are Jazen Packer and Brian Compton.

Mont left for Texas on January 22.  He will be back for Marshall’s play in March.  Both Kim and I are anxiously looking forward to seeing him again.

Work has just about been killing me!  I’m not complaining, I’m thoroughly enjoying the

opportunity to teach the Maternal-Newborn/Pediatrics class, but I feel like all I do is study and work to prepare for those classes and labs as well as for the Fundamentals class I am teaching.  I am also doing clinical instruction at the VA nursing facility in Salt Lake – which means I am driving to Salt Lake twice a week through March.  I come home from work each night and then grade papers and work on lessons until I go to bed.  I am exhausted!  It will be so nice to teach the classes next semester when most of the prep work is done and I can just study the lessons.  The students in both of my classes are great this semester – they are prepared for class and turn in assignments early.  They participate and ask thoughtful questions.  I sure enjoy teaching.

With the weather so bad this winter (thank goodness I bought my Subaru last year!) I have driven down to Salt Lake a few times the night before class and stayed at Sally’s house.  She is a wonderful hostess and I have enjoyed the opportunity to spend with her.  I sure do miss her at the campus.  It is just not the same without her there.

I went a full six months without Dr. Pepper, but this winter with all of the stress and depression, I gave in.  Yes I am a full-fledged addict again.  But, I don’t feel too bad, I made it six months, and I feel good about that.  Perhaps I will do it again, just not right now.

Kent Tanner, a friend of mine from high school, died.  We were really good friends back then, but I have only seen him a couple of times since then.  He and a friend were snowmobiling when he had a heart attack.  His poor friend was trying to do CPR and talk to the emergency personnel at the same time. It was really sad.

My aunt, Carlla, also died this winter.  She has been sick for quite a while with cirrhosis.  It was nice to get together with the family at the funeral and dinner after.  They sang her favorite song, “You Are My Sunshine” at the graveside which was her favorite song.  I loved it.

Shandra has done extremely well in school, in fact her instructors told her that she is one of the best they have had.  I’m so proud of her.  She started her clinicals at McKay-Dee Hospital and has really enjoyed it.  She has one more week and then she has 5 weeks at Primary Children’s Hospital.  Hopefully she will be able to get a great job when she is finished.

On one of her days off I took her to school with me and had her help me with a simulation lab.  It was fun to drive down with her and to show her off to my students.  She was a big help.

Things have not been going well for she and Jason and he moved out two days ago.  I think it is for the best, they did not bring out the best in each other.  However, when he left he took Raelynn with him, of course.  SAD DAY for our family!  We just love that little girl!  

Kim, Kalel, Shandra and I saying "farewell" to Rae

He let us take her to church today for the last time.  He says that he really appreciates all that we have done for her.  He knows that she has become a real grandchild to Kim and I, and he also knows that we love her with all of our hearts.  I am so worried about her and her future.  I just want the best for her, and I pray that God will be with her always.  I’m going to miss her!

A few days ago on the way to her babysitter’s house there was a very large moon.  I started singing:  “I see the moon and the moon sees me, shining through the leaves of the old oak tree."  Rae replied, “Grandma, the moon doesn't have any eyes."  Corrected, I said, "You are right, so the moon can't really see, I guess it is just a silly song."  Rae immediately came back with, "ok, you should sing it again.”  She is so fun!

I had a conversation with Kalel the other day. 

Kalel:  When I get older I need to decide if I want to continue going to Promontory school or if I want to go to the school where you teach.  

Me:  Well, my school is a college so you could do both if wanted.  But, don't feel like you have to go to my school, there are many colleges to choose from.  

Kalel:  I want to go to your school because I love you and you are my family.  

Me:  That is nice, but you need to know that I only teach one thing.  

Kalel:  What do you teach?  

Me:  I teach students to become a nurse.  

Kalel:  well, I guess that would be okay.  

Me:  Do you want to be a nurse?  

Kalel:  well, I think a nurse would be a good back up job because I think they make pretty good money, but what I really want to be when I grow up is a You-Tuber (a person who makes videos of himself playing games and posts it on YouTube).  

Me (smiling):  You know it is nice to have a career that you really enjoy.  

Kalel:  Yes, I really would like being a YouTuber, and I wouldn't even do it for the money, that is why I would be a nurse as a back-up.

I just love the way kids think!

Yesterday we drove down to Primary’s Hospital so that Shandra could get familiar before she starts her clinical there.  After the hospital we took a short tour at Temple Square.  It has been a long time since we have been there, and it felt good!  Kalel was quite impressed with the Christus and also with all of the service that is given at the Welfare Center.  Kim explained to Shandra a lot of the symbols that are found on the outside of the temple.  It was nice.

After Temple Square we headed to the new SeaQuest Aquarium in Layton.  For a very small venue, it was surprisingly very well done.  We had a great time exploring and feeding the fish.  We also fed and petted the stingrays.  They let you actually swim with the stingrays and I think that would be fun to try sometime.  Another thing I am anxious to try is the “pedicures” performed by little fishes.  There were some people there getting it done and I couldn’t decide if it looked like it would be cool – or if it would feel CREEPY!

The other day I was sitting at my office eating some yogurt with granola when all of the sudden I felt something hard in my mouth.  I wondered if there was something bad in the yogurt.  So I started feeling around my mouth with my tongue and to my surprise I noticed that there was a big gap where one of my teeth should be.  I had broken my tooth right off!  URRRGH!  I have no idea how that happened, but somehow it did.

Luckily I was able to get into the dentist that day.  It wasn't fun, but I was able to get a temporary crown put on.  I can get the permanent one in a couple of weeks.  Expensive yogurt!

Doug and Lori came for a visit and got some great pictures of the Olsen Brothers.

Here is a picture of Kim sleeping with Shandra's dog, Lissa.

Kim spoils her.  Apparently she loves vegetables so Kim is always giving her asparagus and carrots.  Weird!