March 2018 Memories

Kim, Kalel and I were invited to Shandra's big ultrasound.  It was SO fun to see that cute little critter wriggling around!  We were all extremely happy to hear that all is well with the baby, except Kalel - he kept asking over and over and over "Is it a girl? Am I going to have a sister?"

When the ultrasound tech final told us all that it was a girl Kalel literally jumped up, pumped his fist, and cried, "YES!"  I'm thinking that he is just a little excited about having a sister.  I have to agree since we now have two grandsons a little girl would be fun.

Here is Shandra's post on Facebook:

We are all pretty excited!

Here are some random pictures of dad.  He claims he doesn't like Robin's dog, Koko, but I'm pretty sure that he secretly does.   Koko loves him and is always right on top of him.  Apparently Ashley's terrier, Barley, likes dad too.

 Dad's dementia has been getting really bad and he has been very unsteady and weak.  We discovered that he hasn't been drinking.  I checked his skin turgor which showed that he was quite dehydrated.  Robin has agreed to really watch him to make sure that he is drinking plenty to see if he improves any.

Kim and I saw a busy board for Alzheimer patients and Kim whipped it up for dad.  We don't know how much he will use it, but it is there if he wants it.



Kalel is 11 years old!  How in the world did he get so grown up?  He is almost finished with 5th grade.  He is an amazing kid.  Very polite and kind to everyone.  He makes friends easier than anyone I know.  He has been doing gymnastics for a long time, but has just decided that he wants to take a break from that.  His only downfall is that he isn't very fond of homework, and quite often has arguments with whoever is helping him.

It's a good thing he is so darn cute!  We just had a small, family celebration this year, and then we went to the movie together.  He chose to see "The Greatest Showman".

I didn't mind that choice of movie, even though I had already seen it twice.  I absolutely love that show.  I love that it is a feel-good story and that there is no sex or bad language.  It is certainly is a fiction story, but I love it.  And the MUSIC!  Oh, it makes my heart so happy, Fortunately Shandra and Kalel enjoyed it too.

After the movie we took dad down to Layton to join his brother's birthday celebration.  Verl is 90 years old!  His family had a huge open house. Dad had a great time talking with Verl (although dad doesn't really have coherent conversations).  He sat right down next to Verl and shook hands and talked to everyone as if they were there to see him.  Verl loved it.  It was fun to visit with all the extended family that we don't get to see very often.  Verl is doing well, but getting a little frail.  His memory is pretty much in tact.  It was a great visit.


The last week in March dad started having some having some issues where we felt it was necessary to call a family meeting to decide if it was getting too hard to continue to care for dad at home.  It was a good, but difficult meeting.  We actually invited one of dad's aides to join with us so we could get an opinion that wasn't as emotionally involved.  Unanimously the hard decision was made to place dad into a memory care facility.  It was such a hard decision, but ultimately we all want to do what is the best for him.
The day after the meeting Robin phoned the Gables, the place we had already chosen months ago, to make sure that they still had dad's name on a waiting list.  Surprisingly she was told that they had just had an opening the day before so dad could move right in.   The next couple of days were a blur of rushing to get everything ready to move.  We felt very fortunate that his room is big enough that we could move in his queen-size bed from his house as well as a sofa from his living room.  We hung several of mom's paintings around the room as well as pictures of all of the sisters to make it feel as much like home as possible.


Placing dad into the facility turned out to be much harder for me than I had anticipated.  I'm really not sure why I was having such a hard time, but I shed many tears.  The staff at work was marvelous, offering to cover for me at the Mass Casualty Simulation so that I could stay with dad.  Amber sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  They are so sweet.  I think the hardest time for me is that even though I knew that dad wouldn't understand everything that was happening, I didn't want him to feel as though we were abandoning him.  I knew that the first few weeks would be really hard on him because he is so confused and I didn't want him to feel scared or alone.  We spent a couple of days labeling everything with his name, and to our surprise he loved that!  He would walk around and see his name on something and read it, "Archie Duerden - that's me!"  We reassured him over and over that everything with his name on it was his and that it would stay with him.

The first few days were rough on him, he kept asking us when we were going to take him home.  But the aides there are all wonderful and assured us that he was adjusting well.

This "rafter" of turkeys was parading down the street.  (I was going to call them a "flock" but Google informed me that the correct term for a group of turkeys is a "rafter")  I thought it was interesting that the females were leading the pack with the males herding them along in full plumage.  I have never seen a real turkey showing off all of his feathers before.  It was stunning!  I love that these birds freely wander around the town, stopping to keep the bugs at bay.  They seem to travel across most of the town and you never know quite when or where you will run into them.

I'm leaving with some dementia memes. . . . just because it is better to laugh than to cry.



Comments

Jodi said…
Oh man, what a hard decision to make concerning your dad, but I am sure you knowing you did the right thing makes it easier. He will be much safer and happier I am sure.
Great shot of the turks! I never knew they were caller a rafter. Learn something new every day!

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