Drops of Awesome
Throughout my life I have been plagued with that nagging voice in my head that reminds me that no matter how good I do something it is never good enough. If I cook dinner (yes it does happen on rare occasion!) and I start feeling good about myself the voice pipes up with things like:
So, you made dinner! Big deal - you didn't make it yesterday, or the day before, or even last week! Cooking dinner once is no big deal - and if it follows history the dinner probably doesn't even taste very good and no one will like it!
When I make time to visit my dad I hear:
Oh how sweet, you grudgingly gave up a few extra minutes on your beloved computer. Did you pay attention to what he was telling you? Or did you spend the time muttering under your breath that he tells the same stories over and over again. You pay more attention to his lack of housekeeping skills than you do his talents! You don't go because you love to spend time with your dad - you only go because you feel obligated. You are pathetic!
The examples could go on and on, but I think the point is clear. Well awhile ago I stumbled on a fantastic blog post entitled, "Drops of Awesome" in which the author exactly describes the voice and what she chose to do about it. Her words are much better than mine, you can find them here. I will try to give a synopsis: She says that we all have a bucket in which we can put Drops of Awesome. You can only add to the bucket, you can never take anything away.
Drops of Awesome are things that you do, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, that are good.
For example, yesterday I rinsed my dish as soon as I was finished eating and put it in the dishwasher: Bam! Drop of Awesome. It doesn't matter that for the past week I haven't put a dish in the dishwasher - yesterday I was good housekeeper.
This afternoon when Bubba told me that he was hungry I didn't remind him that he had only eaten french fries for lunch - AND I went and made him a ham sandwich without grumbling and I hugged him as I delivered it. Bam! Two Drops of Awesome! Today I was the worlds best grandma.
This morning as I was stressed, knowing that I was under a huge time crunch to finish a paper as well as very worried about loved ones who are struggling with difficult situations. Instead of acting frustrated and frazzled, I put on a skirt and drove myself to the temple. It has been a very long time since I have attended the temple, and that stupid voice started whispering to me:
Do you really think it will do any good to go to the temple? You don't go often enough to even consider yourself worthy to be there. It won't be as fun and entertaining as playing computer games. It doesn't matter if you go or not.
As I sat in that holy place I started to feel the voice get smaller and smaller. As I reflected on the fact that there was someone who had been waiting a long time to get their work done, I realized that what I was doing was deserving of a GREAT BIG Drop of Awesome. Spending time in the quiet, knowing I was in the Lord's house I silently poured my heart out to Him asking Him to accept the small offering that I was giving. And the most wonderful feeling came over me! I felt that I had a direct answer telling me that He was not concerned about all the times that I had not come to the temple in the past - He was just thrilled that I was there today. He totally understands and agrees with the Drops of Awesome! Today I was a temple attender who received huge Drop of Awesome!
So, you made dinner! Big deal - you didn't make it yesterday, or the day before, or even last week! Cooking dinner once is no big deal - and if it follows history the dinner probably doesn't even taste very good and no one will like it!
When I make time to visit my dad I hear:
Oh how sweet, you grudgingly gave up a few extra minutes on your beloved computer. Did you pay attention to what he was telling you? Or did you spend the time muttering under your breath that he tells the same stories over and over again. You pay more attention to his lack of housekeeping skills than you do his talents! You don't go because you love to spend time with your dad - you only go because you feel obligated. You are pathetic!
The examples could go on and on, but I think the point is clear. Well awhile ago I stumbled on a fantastic blog post entitled, "Drops of Awesome" in which the author exactly describes the voice and what she chose to do about it. Her words are much better than mine, you can find them here. I will try to give a synopsis: She says that we all have a bucket in which we can put Drops of Awesome. You can only add to the bucket, you can never take anything away.
Drops of Awesome are things that you do, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, that are good.
For example, yesterday I rinsed my dish as soon as I was finished eating and put it in the dishwasher: Bam! Drop of Awesome. It doesn't matter that for the past week I haven't put a dish in the dishwasher - yesterday I was good housekeeper.
This afternoon when Bubba told me that he was hungry I didn't remind him that he had only eaten french fries for lunch - AND I went and made him a ham sandwich without grumbling and I hugged him as I delivered it. Bam! Two Drops of Awesome! Today I was the worlds best grandma.
This morning as I was stressed, knowing that I was under a huge time crunch to finish a paper as well as very worried about loved ones who are struggling with difficult situations. Instead of acting frustrated and frazzled, I put on a skirt and drove myself to the temple. It has been a very long time since I have attended the temple, and that stupid voice started whispering to me:
Do you really think it will do any good to go to the temple? You don't go often enough to even consider yourself worthy to be there. It won't be as fun and entertaining as playing computer games. It doesn't matter if you go or not.As I sat in that holy place I started to feel the voice get smaller and smaller. As I reflected on the fact that there was someone who had been waiting a long time to get their work done, I realized that what I was doing was deserving of a GREAT BIG Drop of Awesome. Spending time in the quiet, knowing I was in the Lord's house I silently poured my heart out to Him asking Him to accept the small offering that I was giving. And the most wonderful feeling came over me! I felt that I had a direct answer telling me that He was not concerned about all the times that I had not come to the temple in the past - He was just thrilled that I was there today. He totally understands and agrees with the Drops of Awesome! Today I was a temple attender who received huge Drop of Awesome!
Comments